Stop Worrying About Having Nobody To Kiss On New Year’s Eve
Think of all the bad things that could come along with giving that cute stranger a midnight kiss:
1) It sucks, leaving you to believe that the new year will suck, too.
2) It doesn’t suck and, in that one kiss, you’re convinced that this guy/gal is The One. But they really don’t feel the same way and can’t wait to get out of your sight.
3) They have an undetected cold sore which becomes your undetected cold sore.
4) Your breath smells and you spend the entire duration of the kiss and the aftermath regretting eating that piece of garlic bread.
5) The world ends, proving that Y2K is very real, and very delayed